Man I hate mood swings. Even when they're good. (This article is really going to be just a bunch of ramblings as I think of them, neatly grouped into paragraphs.)
Right now I'm just ordinary, nothing special. The past week or so I've been constantly thinking about my girlfriend. I've been able to see her once since school's been out and it's driving me nuts. It must seem sort of funny how pathetic I am, but I'm crazy about her. I think she's getting fed up with me telling her how much I worry, which worries me even more. The other day I decided just to suck it up, stop being a pussy, and act like a man about it. Let whatever is going to happen, happen. I don't know how well that's going to work, but I have to stop this. It's killing me.
Another thing about her, and I think this is going to be it, is that I never know where she is. She's so busy all the time, and I wish i could be like that. She's always active, and it makes me feel like a lazy bum because I sit at the computer all day or in front of the TV letting my ass get fat. I wish she would tell me where she was though, because I want to call her. We usually don't talk on the phone, because we have the internet, and I'm really awkward on the phone, but I feel like I need to call her over the summer. But, I'm too afraid to call and maybe actually have to talk to her parents or her little brother. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and stop being a freaking idiot about it.
...Well, I just hit a mental block. I was going pretty fast too, that block came out of nowhere, it kind of hurt. Hopefully when I get back from Scotland on 6/27, I'll be able to do more stuff with her. So far, we've both had a lot of basketball camps and stuff...
I'm really kind of in shock too. The BOE president was just killed this afternoon. It's assumed that it was his son, and I roomed with his son one year at band camp. It's all just kind of stunning. Such a small community, no one thought something like this would happen to us.
Ok now I've reached the end. I don't know what I'm going to do, I wish I did but I don't. I want everything to work out and I'm praying really hard. I think I might be praying too hard and looking too hard for an answer. A mobius strip of emotion.